The Missing Blog

Well this time only 2 years went by since I lost my blog.  A blog is like a comfort food.  A place you seem to return to when life is shaky.  Here I am, back again.  So much has changed since all my posts.  The kids are growing up fast (wow that was my mom speaking) and my life has totally changed.  I am in a new career, same house and kids but also missing the husband.  A single mom on my own with two disabled children and a 19 year old son who is in love with his car and has no concept of money.

Two and a 1/2 Years

I misplaced this blog.  Knowing that it was floating somewhere in space but not exactly sure where.  And I can't wait to go back and read all that I have written.  Oh, so much has changed yet so much is the same.  Ironically, I saw a post to urge people to contact our congressman regarding medicaid cuts planned.  I am sad to report that just a few minutes ago, I sent out a similiar email because once again the Governor is threatening major cuts for OMRDD services again.  People with disabilities rallying to save their programs.  It saddens me to see that the world still doesn't get it.

There is so much to update....my life has completely changed in some ways.  I am so happy I found this blog again.  Its probably just what I need.

A change In Life

Well I have decided it's time for a career change. Yes, while I started the publications from scratch.......put all my blood and sweat into it.......it's time for mommy to let her little baby fly on it's own. Yes, I am going to leave the publications (let my partner and husband run them) and I am in search of another position. Life is very stable at home. The children will be fine and my husband will be local to take care of any issues that may arise. So I am off to pursue a new future and a new career.

You see, I want to follow my dream. I want to move on to a position that entails the health care industry. I have extensive media experience, public relations experience, sales experience and I am an excellent communicator. I love people. I love interacting with people and I love helping worthy causes. Hopefully I can find a position that takes advantage of all my positive traits as well as my desire to help others. Finding a position like that will be a win/win for myself and the company I work for.

So today, I spent the day looking for the perfect job. The jobs I am submitting resumes to are positions that I know I can succeed at and would love. I'm sure you know from my blog, when I put my mind to something, there is no stopping me. To my surprise, there were a few positions out there that I know I would LOVE to do. Resumes have been sent out and now if I can just get my foot in the door.

I'm not tooting my own horn (okay, I am here) but I know that if they met me --my enthusiasm, dedication and motivation would win them over. So hopefully I will be able to get the interview.

Great news!! The UCP Board of Directors has nominated me for consideration to be on their Board. I am so excited and this is truly a dream come true for me. I'm not on yet.......but I feel that I have a very good chance of becoming a Board Member (especially since the President of the Board and the Executive Director are both in my corner and nominated me).

So, things are changing around here. But change is good! And I am looking forward to new changes and challenges!!

Wish me luck!!

I Just Want You To Know Who I AM!!

A friend asked me today, why do you blog? With everything going on in your life, when do you find the time to blog? And I thought about it and the truth is...I don't have the time but I make the time.

1) It helps me. It allows me to sit down and throw my thoughts into written form. It allows me to just rant and rave and it's as if once its logged into the blogosphere....I can let it go (or at least attempt to let it go).

2) I find it very relaxing. I enjoy unwinding and writing in the blog.

3) I hope that I can help other people. When my daugther got sick, I don't know what I would have done without the internet. I had answers within minutes, I knew what the road might be based upon what others were experiencing.

Now I always point out to people, be careful with the internet. Remember, the worse case scenerios and those that are still suffering are the ones who are still on the forums. I haven't gone to the Infantile Spasms forum in years since Brittany has outgrown the Infantile Spasms. So, you move on to other forums. In fact, at the beginner of the year, I am making a note to go back to the Infantile Spasms Forum. To see if there is anyone I can help there!! First New Years Resolution!

So where did this thought process come from? I was going to blog about being Santa and about being sick (that's why I haven't been around--nothing serious--just a bad cold).

By now if you have a music player, you will see a video playing here and hear the song I.R.I.S. by the Goo Goo Dolls. I was looking for some music and I came across this song. This song came out when my daughter was first diagnosed and they put her on steroids. As I told you, she was like a zombie, she didn't even know who I was. And the first three months, I walked around in a daze. I remember hearing this song riding back from the hospital one night to try and get some sleep. I just cried the whole way and for months the words of this song would tear me apart.

Well, the good news after such a struggle, this song brings such comfort to me. Why? Because she has come so far. She is so much better than I had feared and I have come so far and have accepted her for who she is. So yes, I feel the pain from that night that I was driving. But I also feel how far we have come since that night when I thought (and truthfully wished) that the world had ended!

Yes, it's been 7 years now, since those days that the world seemed to end. But you know what? It didn't. So while I am sharing this in hopes that you will see one mother who has survived and even has become a better person due to her daughter's disability---I know it is still very hard. But take each minute for minute and you will become stronger!

I.R.I,S,-Goo Goo Dolls
"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
The moment of truth in your lies,
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah, you'd bleed to know you are alive

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think they'd understand,
When everything is made to be broken
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM!!"

The Non Disabled Sibling!

Oh yes! My son has got it all figured out. It took him awhile but he finally figured out how to work his sister's disabilities to his advantage. Yes, we feel guilty and we certainly overcompensate in many ways since when Brittany was younger we were in hospitals all the time.

Then Jessica comes along and we are again faced with another child who needs attention. So Michael got a lot of things that I normally would have been against. I was always brought up that you have to work for things. Things don't come easy. But if you work at it, it can be yours! Skies the limits. (Probably that is why it was so difficult for me to accept that I couldnt' help my girls --but that is a totally other blog entry).

Anyway, went to teacher's conferences tonight and everybody loves Michael. He is such a warm and caring kid. Now I agree with that. However, he has been late to science (first period) and I need the teacher to back me up with discipline. Problem is that she sat through the speech I give--- welcome to my world- a perspective a parent with a child who has a disability. So she lets Michael get away with murder and it's been hell in my home in the mornings. Fighting with him to get ready on time.

The Social Worker is also great. But she also sat through my speech and understands our home environment and she also loves Michael. So once again, he gets away with it. Three weeks ago, the Asst. Prinicipal stepped in (thankfully she didn't sit through my speech) and she threatened to give him detention everytime he is late. Guess what?

My life has turned around!!! Michael has been getting up and going to school. His school work also improved. Today they told me he was slippping a little (okay B's instead of A's) and the last three weeks, they've seen him pulling high A's and extra credit. All I care about is that he works to his potential and I think he finally is. Hooray!!

So the moral of this story. As parents, we all have a tendency to feel guilty about things and we may try to make things better by overcompensating. Obviously the speech I give left a huge impression on these teachers but also left them too understanding to his shortcomings.(Don't get me wrong, I think that every teacher should attend a workshop like mine--next entry will be about my workshop). But the child who does not have the disability needs to be treated with discipline and love--not guilt feelings.

A Tribute To My new Found Biological Aunts!

Yesterday, I quickly threw my posting up and didn't get a chance to look at the comments. To my surprise, there were posts from my Aunt Patty and Aunt Colleen that I just saw. These are my biological Aunts that I told you about that I just got in touch with. So how nice that they visited my blog! Thanks! I had given them my blog address because I felt it was a better way for them to get to know who I am (okay, they will probably see the dysfunctional life I lead but hey, that's what family is for right?)
So thank you for stopping by and reading up on my children and me! These are pix that Lisa sent me.
Oh! I think I forgot to mention to all of you that my half sister's name is Lisa too! How freaky is that. My biological mother had no idea my name was Lisa and then she names her daughter that--very scary! Anyway, this pix was actually taken at my biological mother's birthday party I think awhile ago.

Amber Watch- Excellent for Children

As a mom, every parent worries about someone abducting their child. As a mom of a child with a disability, it's petrifies me because they cannot tell anyone. They truly have no chance to even give a warning. Unfortunately, my girls are not able to get this concept of pushing an alarm but I figured I would share with other parents out there whose children are able to do this.

I'm not so worried about Brittany (since there is someone always with her) but little Jessica can run and be gone in three seconds. So I am still in search of something that might ring if she goes out of my range or something like that. Anyway, this is really a great device and I hope it helps someone. Just wanted to share! IF you know others, please let me know.
Child Safety Watch. Just in time for the Holidays